It is safe to say that communication is key to having a fulfilling relationship. But does it mean it is also a shortcut to a satisfying sex life within the said relationship?

When it comes to being open about one’s desires, it is easier said than done, particularly if you and your significant other do not seem to desire the same things. It might result in you feeling inadequate or rejected. If your sex drive is low, you might feel like you cannot satisfy your partner’s needs. If your sex drive is high, you might feel like you are always the one trying to get things going.

Truth be told, there is absolutely no need to feel guilty or ashamed about having a different sex drive than your significant other. We all have different and constantly fluctuating libidos. It is only natural that numerous couples deal with conflicting sexual desires.

Luckily, doing something about it is far from impossible. If you want to learn more, read through some of our tips down below.

Talk It Out

Discussing sex in a rational, open, and calm manner is not commonplace. Some couples prefer to avoid the topic altogether. In most cases, we just do not want to hurt the other person. Unfortunately, we also do nothing to address the unpleasant feelings that the entire predicament might already be causing.

So, do not be afraid to talk it out. To do it effectively, be as explicit and direct as possible about the things you need or do not want. Perhaps you want more cuddling, clitoral stimulation, or maybe you would rather have your partner read more about best vibrating panties – otherwise, your needs might remain unmet. Start taking ownership of the way you feel, no matter whether you are the one with the lower or higher sex drive.

If you do not know how to start the conversation or how it should go, here are a few things worth touching upon:

Figure Out What Is Actually the Problem

If a night home alone makes you want to just lie down in bed and go to sleep, it is not necessarily a bad thing. However, if getting it on feels like the last thing you want to do, consider whether the sex itself is the problem.

Things like work, financial problems, family drama, and poor health can cause a significant decrease in libido. If one of you is dealing with a sex slump, resolving some issues that are stressing you out outside of the bedroom might be the solution to the problem.

Focus on What Physically Influences Your Sex Drive

Our sex drives are very fluid and go up and down depending on many things, ranging from energy levels to physical activity and nutrition. If you are struggling with low libido, it might be a signal that you are simply not getting enough sleep or eating an unhealthy diet.

Aside from the things listed above, some medications can affect one’s sex drive as well. For instance, antidepressants are known for causing symptoms like vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction, and low libido. In such a situation, switching to a different kind of medication with fewer sexual side effects or lowering the dosage might be of help.

Look at What Emotionally Influences Your Sex Drive

Other emotional issues like stress, depression, and anxiety are also worth examining. Think about previous relationships as well. If one or both of you had their sexual techniques or habits put down by their past partner, you might find sex off-putting.

In addition to the things listed above, take possible traumas into account. A history of sexual assault can drastically change your attitude toward sex in later life. Working through it with a mental health specialist is the recommended course of action. And if you do not want to do it just yet, confiding in your partner, a trusted friend, or a family member is a great starting point.

Take Practical Measures

If talking things out did not change much, you should take some practical measures. For example, you could plan to have sex at specific times and on specific days every week. You could call it a sort of a sex schedule. That way, you will not have to discuss it or ignore it. Instead, it will become a part of your routine.

Remember that for it to work, you need to get the frequency right for both of you. It could be a few times a week. It could also be once a week or once every two weeks. It is up to you! The key here is to be understanding and flexible.

Sometimes, life gets in the way, and having sex is simply not feasible. Keep that in mind, and do not treat the schedule as something set in stone.

Experiment

Last but not least, you might want to start experimenting with other ways of being intimate. For instance, you could try a different position, purchase some sex toys, or watch porn together.

You could also work on your sexual techniques and make foreplay longer. Rediscovering simple acts of love such as casual touches, kissing, cuddling, and hugging might boost your sex life, too!

Just do what feels suitable for your relationship. Ask your partner about their opinion on this matter and work out the solution together.

In Conclusion

As you can see, it is possible to have a fulfilling sex life even if you and your partner have different sex drives. All that it takes is some effort, understanding, and, of course, communication.

To begin with, try talking to your partner and determine what the problem actually is. It could be that you are just stressed out or simply dealing with your medication’s side effects.

If the issue persists, do not hesitate to experiment and rediscover other ways of being intimate. Sometimes, this is all it takes! Taking some practical measures and coming up with a sex schedule could work, too. Provided that both of you are flexible and empathetic, you should be able to figure it out soon enough.